I would like to say my life has not revolved around this awful disease, and its consequences, but unfortunately it has. It does not rule my life though, and I aim to ensure it never will.

My Mum found out she had breast cancer when I was 3. She was 34 at the time, and was so vivacious and such a beautiful person. She had an immediate mastectomy, followed by chemotherapy. She went into remission and our lives continued as normal. 3 years later, when I was 7, following a sore back, she was diagnosed with secondary cancer in her spine. She fought so hard and was so positive and brave and again underwent chemotherapy, but the cancer continued to spread and over the next two years was in many parts of her body. She continued with chemo, and radiotherapy as well as trying many natural methods. Unfortunately nothing worked, and in July 1994, when I was 9, she died.

People ask me often what I remember of her, I remember what I have been told, and I remember things like the way she smelt (like Chanel #5) and her laugh, but unfortunately the main things that I remember, is where I was standing (eavesdropping outside the laundry at age 7) when she told her best friend in tears that the cancer had returned, and when I was 9 when she told the Silverchain nurses in our home that she no longer wanted to fight this disease.

She was the most amazing person, we all say that I know, but she really was. Beautiful, outgoing and a wonderful mother. Now a mother myself, it has hit me harder than ever before, what she missed out on, and what I and my children miss out on each day by not having her here.

Our lives completely changed once she passed away, I had no siblings because the cancer was diagnosed before my parents had tried for more children, and my father did not cope with my mothers death. He became an alcoholic, and lived in turmoil for the following years, before taking his own life 2 years ago. He did walk me down the aisle at my wedding though, and I am forever grateful that I shared that moment with him.

My Dads parents had passed away when I was little, and my Mums parents have since passed away, leaving just me.

Fortunately I met my husband when I was young; 19 and we married and now have two gorgeous little boys, 19 months and 3.

Once I became a mother myself, the undeniable fear set in about being faced with the potential chance of having cancer one day and not being around for my boys.

I cant even fathom that thought. It makes me shake just thinking about it. To have watched my mother deteriorate from such an effervescent woman to so frail, and to think about what she must have gone through knowing she wasn't going to be around to watch me grow, petrifies me.

Last year, while at uni in my final semester I read Krystal's story in a magazine. It was uncanny how similar our lives had been. I thought about it all day, all week. I then made an appointment with an excellent specialist here in Perth Corrine Jones, and saw her about what the next step would be for me. Because of my age, I'm 26, mammograms and breast checks aren't regular protocol. Corrine advocated well for me though, and I had a mammogram, breast ultrasound and MRI to check all my breast tissue. Everything came back normal.

That doesn't ease my mind though at all. I'm sure that they didn't miss something, but there is always that element of 'what if'. 'What if' something develops between now and next year when I would be due for one again. I am not an anxious person at all. I am relaxed and don't get stressed out easily. This makes me nervous though. It makes me feel sick.

Because I have no living female relatives, I have been told I am not eligible for the genetic testing to see if I carry the BRAC gene. I could do it privately, which would cost around $5000-, but because they do not have my family members who had cancer to test from, the results are highly likely to come back inconclusive. This upsets and annoys me. I feel like I am in 'no mans land' a bit.

I've spent many days and weeks thinking about this, trying to evaluate what the best decision is for me. I have talked it over with a close group of friends, with my husband, with Krystal, not looking for answers, but support and opinions. I am so lucky to have so much support around me. And I am lucky that today, I have an option.

Since looking at my family history, I have found out that my great grandmother on my maternal side also died of breast cancer. I have been unable to trace back any further.

I am meeting with the Familiar Cancer Clinic in Perth in the coming months. I will be gathering as much information as I can, but I feel that I have already made my decision. Provided I am aloud, I will have a preventative double mastectomy as soon as possible, and once we have completed our family, I will also undergo a full hysterectomy, lowering my risk to under 5%.

I am sure that there are people who think it is over the top, I know I have the chance of developing any other cancer, or being hit by a car tomorrow, but I take precaution for that, and look both ways before I cross, live a healthy lifestyle and have my moles checked every year. My precaution for breast cancer is having the problem removed, before it possibly becomes a problem. I would never live with myself if I chose to not do this, and I did get diagnosed. Knowing that I could have taken preventative steps but having not. Those consequences are so unfavorable to me.

I have two beautiful boys to watch grow up, and hopefully another one or two children to be a mother too. I have a husband to grow old with and so many wonderful friends and experiences to enjoy in my life.
 
I have dreams and desires. I have purpose. I will not let history repeat itself in my family.