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Celeste

Breast cancer has been a part of my life since my mothers diagnosis in 1998. At just 39, she discovered a lump in her breast, and within the week was in surgery having her mastectomy. At 15, I knew I too would someday be fighting the same battle. I didnt know it then, but my fight would be to defy my destiny.

2005, 4 years after mum had been offered genetic testing, we recieved the results that would change everything I had ever imagined about my future. They had found a faulty breast cancer gene and I had a 50/50 chance of also having the mutated gene, known as brac1+. Mum decided that with the risk being so high that she would also get breast cancer in her remaining breast, she would have a mastectomy, but this time instead of the prothestic I'd got used to her wearing for the past 6 years, she would have a reconstruction. I remember feeling so happy for her that she could feel normal again, and remembered those surgeries to be mostly very positive. Therefore, I always knew If i too was found to be brac1+ this was definately an option for me.

2010, I was 27, and was finally ready to be tested. I was married, had two gorgeous girls and felt it was time. I also had noticed I had already started to check my breasts very regularly and became very panicky if I thought maybe I could feel something. I was convinced I would be positive for the test and had already begun researching my options for a mastectomy and reconstruction. I had my testing done in March, and 28th April I was told i was indeed brac1+. I still hit me like a tonne of bricks and i instantly began to worry for my daughters.

I immediatley knew i needed to do eveything in my power to not let breast cancer become my fate. I was so scared I'd be too late and went straight into setting up appointments to see surgeons. As far as i was concerned I needed my boobs off NOW!
October I had my first appointment with my breast surgeon and reconstructive surgeon. I knew the plastic surgeon as he did mums reconstruction and decided on him straight away. After my second appt with him in November, a date had been set for me to have bilateral masectomies skin and nipple sparing, with latisimuss dorsi reconstructions using tissue expanders, and finally implants.
This wasnt at all what I'd wanted. I had imagined they would remove my breast tissue, pop in an implant and off I'd go. Mum had the same reconstruction with the lat flaps but I'd always thought I wouldnt need such radical surgery, I didnt have cancer! But, I trusted my surgeon and after he'd put me in contact with a patient and id spoken to her and seen pics I realised I needed to let go and do what was best for my long term outcome. So April 13th was locked in and I was scared.
My husband and I spent a week in Bali 2 weeks before surgery to "relax" me.. and before I knew it I was spending my last night with this dreaded gene hanging over me. I was nervous and scared but very excited to get it over with.
My surgery was very eary wednesday morning and after 2 sleeping tablets before my shower I really was ready to go and didnt have an ounce of negetive feeling about it at all. Surgery was 6 hours long and my very anxious husband waited nervously. We had both been very worried about my reaction to my flat chest after surgery, and he later told me he was trying to prepare himself for that.

Now 3 weeks after, the first thing I can remember about waking up after the surgery is a tight feeling around me,Like i was wearing a bra that was 3 sizes too small. Then taking my hand and having them being met by a clevage up to my neck! I was soo suprised to have some volume.My surgeon had only put 180ccs in each expander but along with the back muscle the extra volume made me much bigger than my previous small B cup! It really all was so much easier to take in than i had ever imagined and for that I am so grateful. The pain was hard to handle at first but when I knew what painkillers worked best for me and took them regularly, they worked well.
The past week has been very emotional. Some days I cry because I am so happy. I can honestly say I havent thought about getting breast cancer once since having my surgery, and that is the best feeling.

All my lymph nodes were clear as well as my breast tissue and I know 100% in my heart, Not only did i make the absoulute right decision, I did it in time. I defied my destiny!

I begin my inflations of the tissue expanders this week, and am nervous but excited. The hard part is over.

My aim now is to do my part. With research and time I pray that before my daughters need to make decisions about being tested there will be even more options available to them. But least I know now when that time comes Ill be there right beside them.