Despite how your cancer diagnosis comes about, the shock is all too often immediate and overwhelming…even more so when it happens at a young age.
Illnesses are always things that happen to someone else, and always at a late stage of life – right? Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be?
Like many of you my wonderful cancer sisters, I was diagnosed at a point in my life when I was busy living life and making plans. I have already written some of my story, but this is for those of you just starting out on that journey.
I’ll start by saying that at no point is having cancer your fault!!! It’s a shit show no one deserves to go through, but sadly here we are…
There are aspects of the day of my diagnosis I will never forget. There are details etched in my mind that I doubt will ever fade from my memory, regardless of the passage of time.
I vividly remember feeling like I was in a bubble! It was as though the second I was told by the doctor that I had cancer, I somehow was transported to living in a bubble where every sound; every person and everything really was out of my reach. If you remember back to being a kid, and you’d be playing with friends in a swimming pool and you’d try to speak and hear under water and you just couldn’t…well, it felt like that but without any of the fun or playfulness.
From the beginning of my diagnosis until chemo finished (well the AC part anyway), I felt like that.
It felt impossible to be part of normal life during those initial 6 months, my brain felt too slow - conversations were slow and processing anything meaningful was slow.
Whether it was my brain protecting me, conserving my much-diminished capacity to cope, or whether I finally developed laser sharp focus - the focus at that time was totally on what I needed to do to get myself through hour by hour, day by day. It certainly gave me the opportunity to be more connected with what I needed and what was going to serve me.
To anyone starting on the cancer journey, this is my PRACTICAL advice to you my lovely cancer buddy:
- This is the time to put yourself first!
- Feel deep with what it is that you need, and what will serve you best. Don’t be afraid to go deep – if you’re feeling it then it means you need it
- Ask for help – the initial months of diagnosis and treatment can be quite honestly exhausting. Ask for help if you need it, heck ask for help even if you don’t need it!
- Connect with what feels right for you – searching Dr Google or taking well-intentioned but ill-informed advice will only add to your stress levels unnecessarily.
- When attending medical appointments, whenever possible, have someone with you. Take a notebook with you with all the questions and points you want to discuss with your doctor. There is so much information coming at you, it’s like learning a new language at speed. It’s a lot to take in and being able to have that information with you to discuss with family and loved ones in a calmer setting at home is a much better way to ensure that you are making the best decisions for you as you go through your journey.
Now, this is my SOUL DEEP advice to you my lifelong cancer sister.
You will learn that:
- Above all else your strength, grace, and dignity are gifts you never knew you had.
- There is an abundance of love from family and friends for you; the kindness of strangers is a beautiful gift.
- The people you least expected are the ones that have been touched by you being ill, and their responses and love are truly fantastic.
- Believing in life, the gods, and all the beautiful energy in the world is something we tune out of all too often.
- It's possible to walk into your chemo treatment with a smile on your face.
- Being present for life shows you what's really important - and it certainly wasn't all the silly things you spent time worrying about; you are truly blessed!
I wish you all a long life full of happiness and good health.
